We shot a couple scenes for Ovum today. The first one was straight out of a Douglas Sirk movie. I was in heaven. I got to wiggle my eyebrows maniacally, wear Trashy Diva all day and Little Lonely put false eyelashes on me and made ‘em stick. I’ve only just washed them off. We also watched a scene from the last shoot which left me gasping for laughter and determined to start running again. GOOD LORD there’s a lot of flesh on my bones and not near enough clothes to cover it! My friends were right, I WAS brave to do that damned scene.
Thank Great Hera I’ve got a “Beauty Clause” with Lars, wherein I agree to say all his crazy lines as written as long as he agrees to make me look pretty. He’s promised to cut as much of my fat out when he edits it as he can.
But the truth is no matter how nuts his films are or how far we go or how certain I am that the audience for them is going to be small and very very very strange, I just don’t care. Because I like them. They make me laugh. And it’s liberating to do something so extreme that you are reasonably certain 90% of the population either won’t get or won’t like or some combination therein. It’s liberating because doing things for other people will only take you so far, at a certain point you actually have to just start pleasing yourself.
In the words of Diamanda Galas:
I never, never do work because
I feel that people are going
to relate to it. I do it
because I feel that
I need to do it.
the truth of my own
I’m willing to search my soul.
I expect everyone else to do the same.
I woke up late today and I was still so exhausted I had a gigantic nap in the afternoon. What?! It’s fine, totally normal. Void of course Scorpio Moon in my 10th and Pluto went retrograde this week. THAT’S why I watched four episodes of Mad Men in a row today instead of attacking my to do list like a knife through butter. I’m so out of practice zoning out in my 12th that I’ve completely lost the knack. Sigh. It’s not too late, is it? I could still finish the rough draft of the thing I’m working on that I promised would be done this week and memorize my lines for the shoot tomorrow and and and
What? What. What!
…it could happen
Can you see that little blip up above ^^ ? It’s a bunch of matter at the outside edge of Saturn’s rings beginning to coalesce – Saturn’s giving birth to a new Moon! Well, maybe. Actually, probably not, that blip appears to be disintegrating right before our eyes and may never form into something substantial enough to break away from the rings, but it’s the best clue we’ve ever had as to how Saturn’s 53 moons formed originally.
It’s all very fascinating, though my favorite part of the story may be how the guy who discovered the phenomena called the blip “Peggy” for his mother-in-law, who celebrated her 80th birthday the day he found it. I love that Saturn, who governs longevity and old age is birthing a Moon (mother) named for an 80 year old woman.
In the words of my friend, David, who sent this story to me, “does Saturn sound complicated or what?”
Actually my favorite part of David’s email was the signature line, you know where it usually says “sent from X’s iPhone…” David’s reads “sent from hopefully somewhere fun.” INDEED.
Like from Saturn’s new Moon: Peggy
Good luck, Peggy! I hope Neil Degrasse Tyson is wrong and you DO coalesce and break away and go ahead and orbit my favorite planet. Don’t listen to the haters, just go be great!
Grrrl, this song has been on repeat all damned day, even when I wasn’t actively listening to it, it’s just going going going going. I created the tag “Pluto sextiling Mars” the other day when it became apparent I was gonna need it, but I haven’t actually gone into any descriptive detail about it because honestly, what the hell am I gonna say? This isn’t a talking transit, at least not for me, since Pluto’s transiting an earth sign and my Mars is all water. No, no, no. This is a balls to the wall fucking taking names and kicking ass transit. I’m making mincemeat of my to-do lists lately. Seriously shredding them.
It’s not comfortable for me, this push into action, my actual physical nature has much more in common with a goddamn sloth. So I’m struggling to keep up with myself right now and a little terrified every time I remember that “an object in motion stays in motion.” Does this mean I’ll never rest again?
That guy I mentioned recently has a pretty strong Mars natally, trining his Sun which is conjunct my Moon – actually we have a lot of strong Mars contacts all over, which is fueling this sense of urgency in me, and it’s inspiring, don’t get me wrong, RRRAW, but it’s also a bit intense, it’s just one more thing forcing me out of the comfy earthbound 12th house nest I’ve been carefully cultivating LO these many years. This rush to act is leaving me without the comfort zone of excessive contemplation my 12th house Capricorn self tends to demand.
…& you know what? SO FUCKING WHAT
I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking about stuff for years and holding onto it all Saturn like. Shit or get off the pot, honey, there is no try.
I may have used Saturn to invoke my sluggish Mars, but now that he’s woken up he seems primed and prepped and ready to take right the fuck over.
Let’s get moving into action
Let’s get moving into action
If your life’s too slow, no satisfaction
Find something out there, there’s an attraction
If you hesitate now, that’s a subtraction
So, let’s get moving girl into action
Gosh the moon is pretty tonight. I stood at my window taking pictures of it for about forty minutes thinking I should stop taking pictures of it and just watch it, but I couldn’t stop trying to catch it with my puny little smartphone. Like there’s something to catch, like there’s some way of pulling the Moon down to earth and making it mine, taking it for my own.
Futile attempt but I don’t regret it. It’s a wild wild moon, my friends. Full moons are always good for catching sight of things we’ve seen only in our periphery until the full moon brings it into focus. This full moon’s an eclipse and visible up here in North America to boot. An eclipse in Libra is all about relationships, about seeing into the heart of another for better or worse. With Mars going through Libra this one’s a bit of a doozy, and it’s activating that cardinal cross Chani and I talked about the other day. It’s a tough one mostly because it demands equal parts listening and expressing. It’s time to do both, if we can.
I’m restless and anxious and I’ve been overeating for three days. I can’t take in anymore. Honestly, my plan is to sleep through the whole thing, I am just exhausted and I don’t think I can eat another bite. If I weren’t so overwhelmed I’d be off to the top of the hill tonight to watch it at the Griffith Observatory. But I am tired. I’ll turn in early and sleep through it, if I can, let my dreams be infused with whatever is to come. Let it work through my subconscious. My conscious isn’t cooperating the way I’d like it to, time to give it a break.
Listen to yourselves, dear ones, and listen to each other. It is time to listen, for if we don’t, how can we hear?
I was out of town all last week, I just flew home last night. Between traveling and Mars getting off my Moon finally, that lack of sleeping jag I complained about last week seems to be lifting. With a vengeance. I had terrible trouble waking up this morning and I’ve just woken up from a nap that really could have gone on another two hours, imo.
So I wandered onto the internet with the search term “sleeping beauty” + “falls asleep” + “YouTube,” thinking I’d find some sweet video with a princess falling asleep that could accompany today’s Daily Dose of Wonder in a whimsical fashion. GREAT HERA, you guys. THE INTERNET. Jesus Christ.
It’s full of videos of girls falling asleep in class, on the train, in coffee shops, and wherever girls fall asleep publicly, apparently. wtf. I’m so creeped out now and it’s making me feel like Sleeping Beauty is really a horror film and maybe it was better when I couldn’t sleep after all.
I’m sure there are videos of guys out there too but I had to run away without investigating further.
When I was a kid my father had a stock answer for when my brother and would complain to him that we were bored. He would half grimace / half smile and with a twinkle in his eye say, “I wish I had time to be bored.”
I’ve been soooo bored for almost a decade. Seriously, you guys, I’ve been in the most ginormous rut. (side note: did you know ginormous is actually a real word? I had no idea until spell check didn’t flag it when I just wrote it. I’m unaccountably excited) I’ve really just spent the last ten years licking my wounds and watching tv.
And now that I’m coming out of it I can’t imagine being in it. It’s always like that, isn’t it? When you’re down you can’t imagine being up and vice versa. But I’d hate to give the impression that this transformation happened on accident, because it didn’t. I did it, I made it happen. And it was so simple that I’m shocked over it.
It started here, with me writing every day, no matter what, whether I want to or not. Surrendering to this small simple commitment really had the effect I was looking for. I’ve been doing it since October, and I’m so glad to report that Rob Hand is correct, and the best remedial measure for a weak Mars (lack of commitment or drive to a larger purpose) is to use Saturn and be disciplined in a daily fashion.
Turns out that for me, at least, it doesn’t actually matter why I’m doing something, just so long as I’m doing it.
…and despite the title of this post, I don’t wish I had time to be bored. I’d like never to be bored again, thank you very much. You can keep your tiny glowy screens, I’ve got stuff to do.
Have you guys seen this? A Norwegian skydiver narrowly escaped being clipped in half by a 5 kilo meteorite traveling about 300 Kilometers an hour. The rock had burnt out, which is why its descent is called a “dark flight.”
I love that phrase. How many times have you burnt out and hurtled to the ground soundlessly? If you’re anything like me, quite a lot.
This rock hasn’t been found yet, presumably it buried itself so far in the earth upon arrival that it’s simply not visible. I’ve done that too.
Not now, I can’t imagine doing this now, but yes, I’ve done this. And I’m keenly aware this month is landing differently for everyone, so this one is for anyone finding it all just a little too much to bear, feeling that it’s time to close your eyes and just drop, to fall to earth.
If you must, you must, don’t fight it, dear hearts, but don’t hit anyone on the way down, and try to leave some sort of trail so we can find you afterwards.
It may not feel like it, but we are here and we’re all in this together. We are all just hurtling through space ourselves, after all, dark flight or no.
stop the presses, you guys.
Did you know that astronaut’s hearts become more spherical in space??! There’s obviously a whole host of health problems associated with the phenomena that need to be worked out before long space flights become a real possibility, but think of the poetic ramifications.
in space, unmoored from the earth, in orbit only to the Sun and all the stars our hearts change shape, become like planets.
Astrologically the Sun rules the heart, it’s the molten hot core of who we are, beating out our pulses like tiny solar flares as we orbit those we love and they orbit us.
This makes me feel like stars
This video has been making the rounds on my Facebook feed for the past couple days, and with good reason. It’s a perfect clarion call for Mars in Libra and the Fight for Love. What does love look like? Is it white? Is it black? Is it straight? Is it Christian? Or is it something else, is it something that doesn’t recognize the rigid categories or stratification that our puny human minds want to lay on it?
What is it to fight for love?
Put down your weapons and pick up your hearts, dear ones.
Be generous, be bold, and be loving.