On the eponymous TV show, Dexter, a serial killer goes into NA to placate his girlfriend who mistakenly believes he’s a heroin addict. Although Dexter’s there under false pretenses, he begins to fall under the sway of the twelve step program and under their watchful guidance he begins to accept who he really is. I’m only through the middle of the second season so I don’t yet know if that works in his favor at the end of the day, but watching it last night at 1:30 in the morning after promising myself all day I would be in bed by 10:00, I found myself wondering if I shouldn’t try a twelve step program myself.
Hello, my name is Wonder, and I’m a TV junkie.
I listened to an MP3 lecture Michael Lutin gave at UAC recently about “The Power of the Sun,” in which he said that the thing you must do when you lose energy is that thing your sun tells you to do as indicated by sign and house position. Which struck me, ’cause it occurs to me that people with 12th house suns like mine need to lose energy in order to gain it. Basically the whole nature of addiction is all bound up in somehow escaping yourself, which is totally a 12th house need. And Neptune, natch, but let’s stick with the 12th house, ’cause it so neatly aligns with my 12 step metaphor.
Anyway, it occurs to me that once again I’m tempted to blame a problem on my chart, but since the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem, I can’t do that. I repeat: my name is Wonder, and I’m a TV junkie. This blog is my methadone, my meeting, and the splenda in my decaf. It’s my escape from my escape.