Daily Dose of Wonder

DSC_1131I mentioned yesterday that I text Beth a gratitude list every day.  I started back in April, when I got hit by the sad stick something fierce.  The last time that happened Saturn was transiting my moon and I started attending a meditation class to deal with it, because I couldn’t do it on my own.  Actually, no one can deal with depression on her own.  Depression thrives in isolation.

Which is one of the ways it gets you, since depression tends to tell you to keep your trap shut.  I think this might be the number one reason why Capricorns and Saturn heavy people have a reputation for depression, because typically we isolate ourselves and we start early.  Saturnine children get it into their heads early on that adults are crazy and undependable and if we want something done right we’d better do it ourselves.

Unfortunately far too many Saturnine children actually have those facts right, at least as far as the people surrounding them go.  But not always.  Part of the problem is that if you are dealing with crazy early on then sane becomes really hard to recognize, which makes asking for help from someone who can give it next to impossible.  But not impossible.  And difficult as it may be, I believe it’s necessary.

I’m not suggesting there’s some easy answer to sustained clinical depression.  Though this woman’s got some great suggestions if you are.  What I can tell you is that, as crazy as it sounds, sending Beth a text every night for five months has been a real lifeline.  It wasn’t easy the first few months, I really struggled with it, finding FIVE things every day to be grateful for – but there’s something about it that makes me rethink the way my day went.  And rethinking the way yesterday went reframes my expectations for tomorrow.  But the crucial element is who I’m sending it to and what it means to me to be able to send that list every day to someone I love so much who also loves me.

Because one of the hardest Saturn lessons to unlearn is that you are all alone.  The real Saturn lesson is that WE are all alone.  And if we’re ALL all alone, then we’re in this together, people.  We gots to stick together.