Mars Remedy Day 2

Nikki McClure GravityI snapped this a few years ago in the middle of a move.  I noticed the print had come away from the frame and then when I uploaded the image it loaded upside down and I left it like that because the woman clinging to the earth still looks relaxed, like she’s not clinging, like gravity is easy for her even upside down hurtling through space on a tiny blue marble bound for nowhere.

I meant to go see Gravity yesterday on IMAX alone, just me and Sandy Bullock in the theater together telling stories about spinning through space gaining perspective.  I had all these great plans to write about it today, but then on the way there I forgot to eat and I paid too much for a terrible haircut which I lied to my hairstylist about and told her I was happy with, and then I checked my bank balance and realized that the too much money I’d spent on a haircut was pretty much all the money I had for the week and I never made it to the theater.

Instead I drove straight home muttering to myself.  I had a little cry in the garage until I started hating myself for being upset over such things when the government is shutdown, Fukishima is melting into the Pacific, and people I know in Nepal can’t rely on their electricity or water.  I dragged myself upstairs, ate some food and promptly fell asleep for two hours.

That’s how I spent the day Mercury conjoined Saturn in Scorpio, which my friend Austin described as “highlighting the importance of mental organization and the virtues of a disciplined mind. Yet it also exposes the limits of control, those pieces of life that inevitably slip the net of best-laid plans.”  Stop stalking me, Austin!

A Polish director told me years ago that I was “like the Russian actors, always in control,” he said he wanted to work with me to get me to let the control control itself.  The idea being that if I surrender to the control, rather than trying to control it, then I can relinquishing being in charge.  If I’m not in charge, I can finally be free. There’s a pun in here about putting the troll in controlling, but I’m not feeling it.  What if he was right?

That Saturn/Mercury conjunction yesterday was at ten degrees, sextiling Pluto which is currently conjunct my ConTROLLing Capricorn Sun.  In short, if I was ever going to live into the promise that Polish director alluded to all those years ago, now might be the time.  No pressure.

Fortunately, that Mercury/Saturn conjunction is going to happen two more times before the end of November, and coincides with an eclipse in Scorpio to boot!  So we’ve got two months of working and reworking through all this stuff.

My friend Chani had some good advice for those of us working through it.  She observes that Mercury wants to go fast, but Saturn wants to go slow, so with the Mercury retrograde coming up, “on a personal level, we can use this aspect to tune into the background noise of our minds, getting to the core of what’s really going on in there. This dark underworld of the subconscious is the place where we grow our lives from, everything stems from this soil. What are you doing with your thoughts? Are you cutting yourself and others down? Are you telling yourself that everything works out for the best? Do you tell yourself that you are a wildly creative, resourceful, ingenious person when the going gets rough? Are you thoughtfully on your own side?”

Arrrghh.  Honestly, you guys, I’m not surprised I slept through it yesterday.  It all sounds like an awful lot of work, n’est pas?  Maybe let’s all just go lie down on a meadow somewhere and look up at the sky.

We’re all in this together, it’s no time to forget that.