You’d think that knowing you were at a crossroads would make being at a crossroads easier, but not in my experience. And I’ve got a lot of experience. I figure I’ve been at a crossroads most of my life, trying to figure out which road to take and really whether it was worth taking any road whatsoever. Seriously, as long as I’ve got snacks and there’s something on tv (there’s always something on tv) why bother?
The bitch of it is that for me, at least, there really isn’t a good answer to that question. I’ve got loads of reasons why it’s like that, I covered it all in some length (seriously, TL;DR, but suit yourself) in a previous blog post, but writing about it didn’t make it any easier.
I’m not sure it’s going to be any easier now, but I was listening to Rob Hand’s recent lecture, The Organic Approach to the Planets, this weekend, and I’ve got an idea waking up this morning that I’m going to run with.
In the lecture, Rob states that the real problem with Mars is that we treat it like a personal planet, rather than a collective planet. It’s very simple, you see, because the value of a strong Mars lies in it’s ability to commit unconditionally to a mission. The story Rob tells to illustrate this is that part in Lord of the Rings where Aragorn tells Frodo, “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.”
Having that sort of resolve makes crossroads easier, I assume. At least that’s been my observation. I don’t have that sort of Mars. I have the sort of Mars that wants to eat chocolates on the side of the road and watch the world go by. My level of unconditional commitment to a cause that isn’t my nephew can be measured in ice cream and tv marathons.
However, I do have a super strong Saturn, and apparently what that’s good for is committing to a discipline every day for a set amount of time. So today I’m going to start writing something every day, bad or good, happy or sad, doubtful or hopeful, whatever it is, I’m just going to write something. Right something. And yes, I’m already sorry I’ve committed to this and dammit if it doesn’t seem like a really bad idea, but I’ll try to keep my Saturnine doom and gloom to a minimum and just start walking.
If you don’t hear from me tomorrow I may have fallen asleep in a poppy field.