12th House Songs: Joni Mitchell edition

In the little one room schoolhouse I attended as a child we used to sing songs every morning at the start of the day.  This is one of the ones we were taught. I loved it even then, long before I could understand what she was saying, or why she felt that way. Even before I had experience to back it up I recognized the peculiar mix of pain and exultation she captures here. It’s been on my mind all day and wouldn’t you know it?  Joni Mitchell is a fellow 12th house traveler, with Saturn and Mars conjunct in Gemini there.

BOTH SIDES NOW

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
and feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,
from up and down, and still somehow
it’s cloud illusions I recall.
I really don’t know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way that you feel
as every fairy tale comes real; I’ve looked at love that way.
But now it’s just another show. You leave ’em laughing when you go
and if you care, don’t let them know, don’t give yourself away.

I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
from give and take, and still somehow
it’s love’s illusions that I recall.
I really don’t know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say “I love you” right out loud,
dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I’ve changed.
Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now,
from win and lose, and still somehow
it’s life’s illusions I recall.
I really don’t know life at all.