I am mortified. I’m stuck inside this show and I can’t find my way out. That bad feeling I mentioned earlier this week about this Mercury Retrograde is evidencing itself as the feeling I’ve got that I’m going to have to quit tv. My addict self is screaming in pain and agony, but it’s looming. It’s as bad as it’s ever been. There are many ironies about the fact that it should be this show of all shows that would drive the point home, but I’ll settle for just one at the moment: this is a show about girls who carry dark secrets (12th house) and the more they carry those secrets the harder it is for them to be themselves.
I’ve been open about the fact that I’m a tv addict, but the truth is there is just NO way anyone could really believe how much tv I actually watch. People say addict so lightly about tv watchers but you guys, it’s a real problem. If there was a 12 step group I could join I would, but there isn’t. Believe me, I’ve looked.
So I’ve got this dreadful feeling that this Mercury Retrograde might be as good a time as any to break myself of the habit. Fuck. It’s not a habit. It’s an addiction. I’m not sure what it’s going to look like and I’m sure as hell not starting tonight, but it’s coming.
Outing myself here, spilling the secret now is the first step. Wish me luck!!