Mars sez don’t be bitter!

Something that’s been coming up for me with this Mars retrograde is anger. Now, I’m slow to anger and even slower to recognize it, much less release it. Anger has always been a difficult thing for me, it seems fraught with peril and ugly consequences. And I don’t know if it’s the remedial measures I’ve been taking for my Mars writing in here every day and starting exercising regularly, or what, but the anger coming up for me now feels so different than before.

It used to feel like a threat, like an ominous cloud hanging overhead that I had to hide or try to. I was really good at repressing the symptoms or deflecting them into passive aggressive barbs or just swallowing it – or trying to. I don’t think repressing anger is ever really successful, it just ends up coming off you in waves that you can’t see but that are perfectly obvious to everyone else.

But somehow between Pluto sextiling my Mars and Mars squaring my Sun this last week has seen me break into a whole new territory around anger. It no longer feels like a threat, it feels like a warning. Like The Gift of Fear. My anger is really only dangerous when I don’t listen to it, when I ignore it, when I try to go back to sleep. If I listen to it, especially if I listen at the beginning when it’s quiet, then I don’t need to snap or lose control.

Or even if I do do that, but manage to do it directly and clearly, then there is no need for regret, there is no need for sorrow. There is no need for bitterness.

I watched this interview with Dave Chapelle and Maya Angelou and the whole thing is really great, really just incredibly quotable, but within the context of all this Mars energy I’m experiencing, it was the bit at the end that really caught my attention and held it. It starts at the 8:55 and goes till the end. They’re talking about what it was like coming of age in the sixties and how Dave Chappelle has a hard time imagining not being angry about it all. I’ve transcribed Angelou’s response to him below because it just hit me like a ton of bricks. So much truth. Anger isn’t overwhelming if its voiced. If you let it go dormant it just becomes bitterness.

I transcribed my favorite part below.

MA “If youre not angry, you’re either a stone or you’re too sick to be angry. You should be angry.”

DC “What do you do?”

MA “Now mind you, there’s a difference. You must not be bitter.”

DC “That’s a hard one. That’s a hard one.”

MA “Let me show you why. Bitterness is like cancer, it eats away at the host, it doesn’t do anything to the object of it’s displeasure. You you said anger, YES. You paint it, you dance it, you march it, you vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it.”