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Hello Precious Treasures! I’m in the midst of a flurry of updates and changes to my website, so please check back soon for Weekly Horoscopes, Celebrity Astrology, & Much Much More! In the meantime, be Safe, Courteous, and Happy! and Remember! You Have a Future! Miss Wonder Bright I have been feeling all manner of Apocalyptic lately. But I remind myself that with Pluto transiting my Venus right now and Saturn approaching my Moon, it’s only natural that I should be feeling so full of death and destruction. Which brings me to my point: although you can’t blame astrology for any impending apocalypse if you hate your life for any reason, chances are you can blame astrology for it! After all, astrology is very simply a measurement of time and how it affects us, so it always serves as a useful reminder that everything, good and bad, shall pass. Except your human nature, and astrology can help you there too, by describing your human nature and telling you to just deal with it. Sometimes, in some ways, you just suck. It’s OK. The only thing worse than sucking at being human is pretending you don’t suck at being human. Stop fighting yourself. It’s like how I used to be seriously uptight. All. The. Time. And then I started getting stoned, which made me really super paranoid, but then I could just tell myself, “hey, Wonder, relax, you’re just stoned!” and then later when I was sober and started to feel paranoid, I found myself telling myself, “hey, Wonder, relax, you’re just uptight and paranoid!” Saved my life. Now when I’m freaking out about this or that I just check my transits and tell myself, “Dude, relax, it’s just Mars rocking your Descendant! It’ll pass!” Obviously, this isn’t going to work for everybody. Some people prefer Jesus, or Buddha, or a nice warm gun. But I take the long range view. The planets have been here awhile – since way before Jesus or Buddha – and they’ll probably be here a lot longer than any of us here now. They’re real, they’re visible, and they couldn’t care less about my death wish or whether I’ve gained a few pounds. Very comforting, that. Especially that last part. Excuse me while I go check my transits to see if I can blame astrology when I go visit Yogurtland for the sixth time in four days…
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Cheerio, Kitten! Keep Purring, and if if you must, Roar! You guys, I can’t stop thinking about the obvious impending APOCALYPSE that is CLEARLY about to befall us. I’m seriously annoyed with X, Y, and Z, who persist in posting to Facebook the most horrible (but possibly improbable) case scenario’s of methane gas explosions in the gulf caused by the oil leak. It doesn’t help that I’m about to move into a 12th story apartment with a view of the downtown city skyline. My future view is going to be the most awesome ringside seat to any nasty holocaustish scenario. Of course, I probably will miss most of it since I’m liable to be pinned beneath 12 stories of falling rubble. That is if I’m lucky… At times like these I like to remind myself of all the hours I spent at Kepler reading about how humans for millenia have been predicting the end of the world. My professor Nick Campion laid forth some very convincing arguments (some of which you can read in his book Astrology, History and the Apocalypse) that the much vaunted “Age of Aquarius” is just the newest version of apocalyptic doom and gloom we’ve been predicting for centuries and we really have to choose how much we want to be ruled by these myths. The conclusion I drew then, and struggle constantly to draw again and again, is that humans just have an undeniable, insatiable (and seriously arrogant) death wish and it’s just very hard for us to really contemplate anyone or anything carrying on without our precious selves to watch over them/it. So logically I really do agree with my fellow Kepler classmate, Chris Brennan, when he says that everyone who is freaking out about 2012 is stupid, but unfortunately, being human, and a gloomy Capricorn to boot, in my heart of hearts on a down day I really do believe WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. SCREAMING. That’s usually when I check my transits, though, ’cause in answer to my question above, no, you can’t blame astrology for the apocalypse, (IF it’s coming, astrologers have been predicting it for centuries to no avail thus far. On this front, at least, -but no other, natch!- astrologers can truly be said to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic. We’re only human, after all…) however, the good news is, you CAN blame astrology for any death wish you might be going through, ’cause nine’ll get you ten you’ve got Saturn riding your Moon for a year, or Pluto squaring your Sun for two years, or, if you’re really lucky, Mars making a mockery of your Mercury for just a couple of days. On the other hand, it could just be something you ate. Only time will tell…
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Fare-thee-well till then, Vestal Goddess with the Mostess!
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Ta ta till then, you Charming Enchanter! Carry on Balancing!
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Wink wink till then, you Saucy Stinger!
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Sayonara till then, you Sassy Beast! Keep on clomping!
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Buh-bye till then, Silly Ol’ Billy!
Check back soon for more info on how great you are and why (according to astrology and more importantly, according to ME!) and also for weekly horoscopes. Au revoir till then, my Aquatic Conveyer! Happy bearing! |
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Hola, you Handsome Hunk of Horse Meets Man/Woman!!!! Sound clumsy? It is, but it’s also soooo sexy and for having the coolest symbol alone you really do deserve to be my very favorite sign. And you are! Of course I say that to everyone, but it’s very true. You are so blunt and direct and I always know where I stand with you, and if sometimes that means Very Far Away, SO WHAT? What’s a little distance between comrades?
