There’s a bunch of billboards all over town for the return of Game of Thrones. They read ALL MEN MUST DIE in bold caps. It simultaneously makes me laugh and sends a shiver right through me. And it’s the perfect backdrop for the experience I’ve been having as Uranus, Jupiter, Mars, and Pluto all jockey into their positions around the zodiac, lining up around the wheel tightening the screws.
If all that sounds depressing and horrible, let me be clear: it’s not. Not for me, anyway. In fact, quite the reverse. I’ve actually been having a ridiculously amazing time. I know a lot of people are seriously going through it right now, what with one thing or another. Susan Miller, whom I love, has even said that “April is so scary I’m giving classes in it.” But although Pluto (he’s like the Darth Vadar of Astrologyland) has been transiting my Sun for over a year and I’m filled with enough apocalyptic scenarios to be able to direct you to a full page of posts about it, I’m actually just filled with such crazy hope and joy and life right now.
I’m a little reluctant to say why, because at the heart of what’s happening to me is something so private that I’ve actually been unable to write as freely as I normally do on my blog. But I feel like I can’t convey the message I want to now unless I say this, because it really is at the heart of it all. You guys, I met somebody! Or, rather, that Venus retrograde in Capricorn washed up a past lover on my shores and he’s just sort of stuck around. I know I should really be all cool and Capricorn about it and play it down, but MARS IS IN LIBRA you guys, in my NINTH HOUSE with MY MOOOOON and I have to tell you, I feel pretty damned certain that NOW IS NO TIME TO PLAY IT SAFE.
For realz. On the contrary, I think now is the perfect time to break free of all your past stories about who you are or what’s possible and ask for what you want. Boldly, fearlessly, and with passion. The trick is, as I said the other day, to do so without expectation.
Which is ultimately why I feel like it’s OK to reveal what’s happening with me right now. Because the key phrase in that last sentence was right now. As in, I’ve got no fucking clue what’s going to happen next week or next month or in a years time with this man. Or without him, for that matter.
You know what I do know? I know that I could die tomorrow. Seriously. There’s been a pile of earthquakes in California lately. The one last Friday took place across a fault line which threatens “vulnerable older buildings, many made of concrete, in downtown Los Angeles,” you know, like, where I live. No wonder that quake last Friday was the worst quake I’ve experienced in almost twenty years of living in California. It was fucking terrifying, no joke.
Sorry for all the expletives, but I’m feeling vehement about all this. Fucking vehement.
I noticed a hairline crack in the wall in my bathroom last night that wasn’t there before. A crack in a wall 12 stories up from the ground that was made last week when the earth moved beneath us. I don’t just feel fragile, I am fragile. We are all fragile.
Capricorns, as everybody knows, are notorious for needing to have control over things. And Pluto’s transit through Capricorn has been seen as a harbinger of a certain kind of maniacal extremism for that. Astrologers have been looking at everything from the NSA to the political unrest in middle east to describe the peculiar and potentially lethal “power run amok” experience that Pluto in Capricorn describes. You add Uranus transiting through Aries into the mix and suddenly you’ve got resistance to that power, you’ve got Occupy Wall Street and the Arab Spring.
But what if the deeper message here was about releasing the need to control things? What if it wasn’t about “fighting the man” or anything outside ourselves. What if we just stopped pretending we had any real control over things at all.
What would be possible then? What could we create if our acts of creation were less about defining who we were and more about asking? What would it look like if we loved someone because he showed us where we were vulnerable? What would it be like if being vulnerable wasn’t weak?
Because you know what? All men really must die. We’re all going to be six feet under soon enough.
There’s a marvelous piece by Stephen and Ondrea Levine that addresses this wonderful conundrum perfectly, I really cannot recommend the entire article enough, but they close with this:
If our only spiritual practice were to live as though we were already dead, relating to all we meet, to all we do as though it were our final moments in the world, what time would there be for old games or falsehoods or posturing? If we lived our life as though we were already dead, as though our children were already dead, how much time would there be for self-protection and the recreation of ancient mirages? Only love would be appropriate, only the truth.
This month offers wonderful opportunities to practice this across the board. Dates to watch out for are the two eclipses on April 15th and the 28th, and of course, the 22nd through the 24th when the Cardinal Cross is exact.
Wherever the chips may fall, just remember that with Mars going through Libra it’s never been more important to fight for love, to open ourselves, to make ourselves vulnerable and to embrace the strength that comes from expressing who we really are without expectation of approval or recognition. Give that to yourselves, Golden Hearts. Give that to those around you.
They might surprise you, and if they don’t, you can at the very least, surprise yourself.
Be bold. Be daring. Be loving and L I V E